Thoughts on "Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops"



Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops

by Jen Campbell

This Sunday Times Bestseller is a miscellany of hilarious and peculiar bookshop moments:
'Can books conduct electricity?'
'My children are just climbing your bookshelves: that's ok... isn't it?'
A John Cleese Twitter question ['What is your pet peeve?'], first sparked the 'Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops' blog, which grew over three years into one bookseller's collection of ridiculous conversations on the shop floor.
From 'Did Beatrix Potter ever write a book about dinosaurs?' to the hunt for a paperback which could forecast the next year's weather; and from 'I've forgotten my glasses, please read me the first chapter' to'Excuse me... is this book edible?'
This full-length collection illustrated by the Brothers McLeod also includes top 'Weird Things' from bookshops around the world.






Well this was a lot more fun than I thought it would be. There are some pretty weird... and dumb people out there and it is only natural they find their way into bookshops one way or another. Some for the silliest reasons.

“CUSTOMER: If I were to, say... meet the love of my life in this bookshop, what section do you think they would be standing in?”


So I take it's a pretty interesting life being a bookseller. Maybe it's annoying when they all come in and put stupid questions, but at the end of the day, it's pretty hilarious for those you tell about it... and later for you too.

I'm really happy some effort was put into creating this collection of bookshopping weirdness. :)

“CUSTOMER: Oh, look, these books are all signed. (Pause) I wonder who signed them ?”



“CUSTOMER: Hi, I just wanted to ask: did Anne Frank ever write a sequel?
BOOKSELLER: ........
CUSTOMER: I really enjoyed her first book.
BOOKSELLER: Her diary?
CUSTOMER: Yes, the diary.
BOOKSELLER: Her diary wasn’t fictional.
CUSTOMER: Really?
BOOKSELLER: Yes... She really dies at the end – that’s why the diary finishes. She was taken to a concentration camp.
CUSTOMER: Oh... that’s terrible.
BOOKSELLER: Yes, it was awful -
CUSTOMER: I mean, it’s such a shame, you know? She was such a good writer.”




“CUSTOMER: I read a book in the sixties. I don’t remember the author, or the title. But it was green, and it made me laugh. Do you know which one I mean?”




“CUSTOMER: I’m always on night shift at work.
BOOKSELLER (jokingly): Is that why you’re buying so many vampire novels?
CUSTOMER (seriously): You can never be too prepared.”




“CUSTOMER: I don’t know why she wants it, but my wife asked for a copy of The Dinosaur Cookbook.
BOOKSELLER: The Dinah Shore Cookbook?”




“CUSTOMER: Hi.
BOOKSELLER: Hi there, how can I help?
CUSTOMER: Could you please explain Kindle to me.
BOOKSELLER: Sure. It’s an e-reader, which means you download books and read them on a small hand-held computer.
CUSTOMER: Oh OK, I see. So . . . this Kindle. Are the books on that paperback or hardback?”




“MAN: Do you have black and white film posters?
BOOKSELLER: Yes, we do. They’re over here.
MAN: Do you have any posters of Adolf Hitler?
BOOKSELLER: Pardon?
MAN: Adolf Hitler.
BOOKSELLER: Well, he wasn’t a film star, was he.
MAN: Yes, he was. He was American. Jewish, I think...”




“CUSTOMER: Which was the first Harry Potter book?
BOOKSELLER: The Philosopher’s Stone.
CUSTOMER: And the second?
BOOKSELLER: The Chamber of Secrets.
CUSTOMER: I’l take The Chamber of Secrets. I don’t want The Philosopher’s Stone.
BOOKSELLER: Have you already read that one?
CUSTOMER: No, but with series of books I always find they take a while to really get going. I don’t want to waste my time with the useless introductory stuff at the beginning.
BOOKSELLER: The story in Harry Potter actually starts right away. Personally, I do recommend that you start with the first book – and it’s very good.
CUSTOMER: Are you working on commission?
BOOKSELLER: No.
CUSTOMER: Right. How many books are there in total?
BOOKSELLER: Seven.
CUSTOMER: Exactly. I’m not going to waste my money on the first book when there are so many others to buy. I’l take the second one.
BOOKSELLER: . . . If you’re sure.
(One week later, the customer returns)
BOOKSELLER: Hi, did you want to buy a copy of The Prisoner of Azkaban?
CUSTOMER: What’s that?
BOOKSELLER: It’s the book after The Chamber of Secrets.
CUSTOMER: Oh, no, definitely not. I found that book far too confusing. I ask you, how on earth are children supposed to understand it if I can’t? I mean, who the heck is that Voldemort guy anyway? No. I’m not going to bother with the rest.
BOOKSELLER: . . .”




“WOMAN: Hi, where are your copies of Breaking Dawn? I can't see any on the shelf.
BOOKSELLER: Sorry, I think we’ve sold out of the Twilight books; we’re waiting on more.
WOMAN: What?
BOOKSELLER: We should have some in tomorrow.
WOMAN: But I need a copy now. I finished the last one last night.
BOOKSELLER: I’m sorry, I can’t help you.
WOMAN: No, you don’t understand. I’ve taken the whole day off work to read it.
BOOKSELLER: Erm…
WOMAN: I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS! NOW!
BOOKSELLER: Erm…
WOMAN: Can you call your wholesaler and see if they can deliver this afternoon?
BOOKSELLER: They only ---
WOMAN: And then I can wait here for them.
BOOKSELLER: I’m sorry, they only deliver in the morning.
WOMAN: BUT WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW?
BOOKSELLER: . . .we have many other books.
WOMAN (sniffs): Do any of those have Robert Pattinson in them?”


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3 comentarii:

  1. Multumesc pentru recenzie, Adela. Foarte tare ideea pe care se bazeaza cartea. Cred ca mi-ar placea sa o citesc si eu, m-am amuzat copios citind fragmentele astea. Citatul ce face referire la Harry Potter ma face sa-mi smulg parul din cap. Doamne, cati oameni dusi cu pluta exista pe lumea asta. Dar ma bucur ca nu sunt toti din Romania. :D

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  2. Foarte buna recenzia! Tu ai comandat cartea de pe Book Depository? La noi parca nu se gaseste.

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  3. Adela Cacovean7 mai 2015, 22:03

    Pe BookDepo, e la 19% reducere momentan:
    http://www.bookdepository.com/Weird-Things-Customers-Say-Bookshops-Jen-Campbell/9781780334837?a_aid=vanillamoon

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